I've filled out so much paperwork it is unreal. I've answered the same question differently 22 times. I am a teacher, therefore, I am given the privilege to have awesome, spunky, legible handwriting- until I am on page 23 of 45, and, then, my awesome handwriting becomes that of a drunken third grader experiencing cursive writing. By this time I am abbrevating words that make no sense i.e. unfortunately becomes "unforly" and associated becomes "ass" <--- Love that one, lol. Not only do my 5+words get shrunken down to a non-legible second language, but my spelling goes down hill and I start writing like I speak, therefore, I use words like totally, ditto, LOL, gotcha, and whatcha. I hope my case worker has a sense of humor. She is going to need it for my sake..
If you personally know me, you know I am a list maker. I get my list-making-syndrome from my Dad. He makes grocery list that intertwine with his errand running/next big project list. Only he can read his list, because though they are written in English we would be prompted to pick up the prescriptions on isle four of WinnDixie while calling the gas man to order propane for the speed boat he needs to wash. Make sense? Nahhh. Anyhow, I make list and this new journey of foster care has my list obsession kicked into overdrive. I am pretty sure I will be keeping post-it notes in business twenty plus years from now. I refuse to talk to some computer generated lady that is responsible for reminding me of what ingredients i need for supper and what appointments I have in three weeks. I will ask Siri to tell me a Jewish joke though. She has such a great sense of humor, that Siri.
I had a pretty lengthy list that had to be somewhat accomplished between an hour long lunch break. I was responsible for calling the lovely workers at DHR to schedule a time to be fingerprinted- once said appointment was made- inform boss lady of what day I needed off. Once boss lady approved said time off, contact the animal clinic to schedule dogs shots on that same day, contact someone to schedule a TB skin test for both myself and hubby (harder than it sounds- I will explain later), schedule physical for both myself and hubby, and, last but not least, schedule a time to obtain marriage license that is probably in some field in Mexico. I had to do all of this on my lunch break. And, guess what? Everyone else in those said offices were ALSO on lunch break and wouldn't be back for another 42 minutes...
In my head I kept hearing Dory from Finding Nemo say, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."
Someone said the Health Department did free TB skin testing. Someone then corrected her and said it was not free but a small fee. I called the Health Department and they don't do it at all. Strike one.
I called a family clinic from my hometown and spoke to a super happy lady. (I am guessing she was happy because she just ate lunch- something I skipped out on so I could hunt down a TB skin test doctor). She was very helpful- at first- and prompted me to call back in a few minutes when her computer loaded back up. I called back and got a not-so-happy lady (maybe she also skipped lunch) that informed me that the super-happy-lady was new and was "uneducated" about how they ran their office. They only do TB skin test on Tuesday. That did me no good since I already was taking that Friday off to take care of business. Strike two.
I broke down and called the doc-in-the-box. I seriously didn't want to because I hate the service from places like that, and, not to mention, they are uber expensive. (Uber is another word I sometimes write in the paperwork when I start to get delusional.) I call and am blown away by how much it will cost- $80 PER PERSON! I suck it up and go to schedule an appointment just for the little lady to inform me they were out of the TB skin test and they are on back order- not sure when they will be available. Strike three.
She is out.
I broke down and called my doctor. By this point, I was throwing around my mother's name like she is Michelle Obama. At first they weren't going to accept my husband because he is a "new patient", but, luckily, the lady said she would "figure it out". Lord, please don't let her be "uneducated" about how they run things. I just need a TB skin test. At this point, I am up to doing it myself. Can't be that hard, right?
Needless to say, I got everything scheduled for November 15th. It will be a miracle if everything goes as planned. Our day will start at 8 AM and we won't make it back home until 5 PM the earliest. I've got God on my side, so miracles are possible. Hah. If not, I will just have to rely on that sense of humor of mine...
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